Types of Mental Abuse

Mental abuse is a type of abuse that can leave a long-lasting impact on your mental health, self-esteem, confidence and lead to development of mental health conditions. Sometimes it’s harder to recognize signs of emotional, mental or psychological abuse, unlike physical abuse which is apparent.

Mental abuse involves use of emotional tactics in an attempt to control, manipulate, intimidate or belittle someone. Often, this is witnessed in romantic relationships, family relationships, friendships, and in the workplace.

Types of Mental Abuse

 There are many ways someone can mentally abuse someone. You may have witnessed or experienced some common types of mental abuse, or have thought to yourself, “What is the silent treatment in abuse?” or wondered how to recognize the signs of such abuse. Some common types of mental abuse are:

Name-calling: When someone uses derogatory terms like ‘idiot’, ‘loser’ or ‘stupid’

Gaslighting: When someone makes the other doubt their understanding of reality

Making threats: When someone makes intentions clear to possibly inflict pain, control or damage

Withholding: When someone does not give affection or shares any feelings

Dismissiveness: When someone puts another person’s needs away as irrelevant

Constant criticism: When someone judges or shares negative ideas/opinions about another

Humiliation: When someone shames/embarrasses another or reduces their self-worth

Blaming: When someone says the other one is guilty of something (and untrue)

Silent treatment: When someone ignores the other on purpose/pretends they don’t exist

Belittling: When someone says a thing to lower self-worth & belittle achievements

Isolation: When someone prevents the other from seeing people like their friends

Trivializing: When someone claims the other is overreacting or being dramatic

Recognizing Abusive Behavior and Signs of Emotional Abuse

 It’s not easy to recognize abusive behavior or catch the signs of emotional abuse as it can often be subtle, or build over time, and when it comes from loved ones, it can be hard to differentiate. Here are some warning signs:

• You feel anxious, afraid or tense around the person
• You’re constantly walking on eggshells or checking what you say or do
• You don’t feel safe, heard or validated when you’re expressing yourself
• You’ve changed your likes, or behaviors to avoid conflict
• You’re isolated from people who once supported you
• They monitor your actions, who you talk to or where you go and with whom
• They make you feel guilty for your actions
• You feel mocked or they use private information to embarrass you
• You feel disrespected, demeaned, are spoken to in a condescending manner
• You feel like nothing you do is good enough
• You doubt yourself and there is a loss of self-esteem

Mental Abuse in Relationships and Impact of Emotional Abuse Tactics

 Did you know that 4.6% adults experience some form of emotional abuse per year? Moreover, research found that 80% of individuals report intimate partner emotional abuse in intimate relationships.

Abusers use a variety of emotional abuse tactics such as name-calling, silent treatment, humiliation and so on.

What is the silent treatment in abuse?

It is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser deliberately refuses to speak to express anger or disapproval, or to punish and control the victim. It is a manipulation tactic that destroys trust and removes any chance for resolution of conflict in a relationship.

Abusers also withhold affection as a form of abuse where no form of affection, love or emotional support is given intentionally to control or punish the partner. This can often trigger feelings of abandonment and worthlessness and this emotional abuse tactic is especially harmful as it is using the partner’s emotional needs against them.

How abusers use isolation and blame?

Isolation from friends, family, support systems leave the victim more dependent and easier to control or manipulate. Abusers often use these tactics and justify them by blaming the victim or others and instil a feeling of guilt and shame to lower self-esteem and increase confusion. This reduces the victim’s ability to seek help or leave the relationship and abuser.

 The impact of humiliation in toxic relationships is long-lasting and can damage self-worth, increase self-doubt and shame, and leads to development of trust issues that severely impact emotional health and ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

There are some damaging effects of mental abuse and effects of constant criticism on mental health:

• Loss of self-worth and confidence
• Internalization of shame and abuse
• Anxiety and depression
• Trust issues
• Relationship and intimacy difficulties
• Social isolation
• Fear of abandonment and co-dependency
• Unhealthy attachment patterns
• Suicidal thoughts and behaviors

Healing from Mental Abuse

 Healing from mental abuse from a loved one, in the workplace or an abusive or toxic relationship starts with awareness and the first step is recognizing the signs of mental, emotional abuse. Steps you can take include:

• Seeking specialized therapy from a therapist trained in trauma or abuse recovery. Search for psychologists near me, trauma focused therapist near me, EMDR therapist near me, somatic therapist near me to start your trauma recovery with professional support
• Join support groups that are specific to your needs, such as abuse recovery support group, toxic/abusive relationship support group online or in-person
• Reconnect with safe people and practice self-compassion and mindfulness

Mental abuse is often hidden or subtle – it’s hard to recognize under misguided love, charm and manipulation. However, the impact of mental abuse is deep and long-lasting. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, report it and help them seek professional help, appropriate care and support from a therapist near you and promote healthy relationships along with mental wellness.

Awareness is the first step towards better mental health and with NABHS, you can learn to identify signs of mental abuse in your relationships as well as get correct information on how to deal with it! Start your journey today!